Quote

In every big city there is always one surefire laugh, and that lies in hanging some piece of idiocy upon the people of a nearby city or town.

W. C. Fields

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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Always
City
Nearby
People
Laughing
Idiocy
Pieces
Hanging
Cities
Town
Lying
Towns
Upon
Piece
Bigs
Laugh
Every
Lies

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I never voted for anybody. I always voted against.
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Attitude is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than what people do or say. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill.
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The best thing to break is a contract.
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Show me a great actor and I'll show you a lousy husband. Show me a great actress, and you've seen the devil.
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Buried my wife the other day. Had to, she died.
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Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she'll expect you to keep up the standard for the rest of your life.
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I exercise strong self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.
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Now don't say you can't swear off drinking it's easy. I've done it a thousand times.
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Take me down to the bar! We'll drink breakfast together!
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Never mind what I told you - you do as I tell you.
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The world is getting to be such a dangerous place, a man is lucky to get out of it alive.
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If it does not work the first time, try, try again. Then quit. No need to be an idiot.
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No doubt exists that all women are crazy it's only a question of degree.
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What would you do if you were President, and, on the first day of May, the Russian Ambassador presented you with a beautiful cake which emitted a curious ticking noise? Would you plunge it into a pail of water - thus insulting Soviet cuisine in general?
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I could be stranded in any town in the United States with ten cents and within an hour make $20 with the shell game.
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Prayers never bring anything... They may bring solace to the sap, the bigot, the ignorant, the aboriginal, and the lazy - but to the enlightened it is the same as asking Santa Claus to bring you something for Xmas
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The laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn over by themselves.
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I once spent a year in Philadelphia, I think it was on a Sunday.
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A merry Christmas to all my friends except two.
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