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I always made up my own acts built them out of my knowledge and observation of real life. I'd had wonderful opportunities to study people and every time I went out on the stage I tried to show the audience some bit of true human nature.
W. C. Fields
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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Made
Show
Built
Every
Opportunity
Bits
Always
Shows
Stage
Time
True
Went
Life
Nature
Study
Observation
People
Human
Wonderful
Acts
Humans
Audience
Opportunities
Real
Knowledge
Tried
More quotes by W. C. Fields
To me, these biblical stories are just so many fish stories, and I'm not specifically referring to Jonah and the whale. I need indisputable proof of anything I'm asked to believe.
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I note the derogatory rumors concerning the use of alcoholic stimulants and lavish living. It is the penalty of greatness.
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Happiness means quiet nerves.
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I could juggle anything in my day. Balls, cigar boxes, knives...But there was one thing I could never juggle. My income tax.
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I used to be indecisive, now I'm not so sure.
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The low-ceiling price bazaar for sexual relief was a street called Middie Alley. You could barely get a pushcart through this avenue. Top price-twenty-five cents.
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I ad lib most of my dialogue. If I did remember my lines, it would be too bad for me.
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A man without a woman is like a neck without a pain.
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So long as the presence of death lurks with anyone who goes through the simple act of swallowing, I will make mine whiskey.
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I don't drink water. Have you seen the way it rusts pipes?
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I like children - fried.
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It's quite true I'm not drinking anymore however, I'm not drinking any less either.
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The first thing any comedian does on getting an unscheduled laugh is to verify the state of his .
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There is not a man in America who has not had a secret ambition to boot an infant.
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Remember, a dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live one to swim upstream.
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The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with baited breath.
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Thou shalt not steal-only from other comedians.
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A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
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Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol.
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Oh, insomnia! Ah, well, I know a good cure for it... Get plenty of sleep.
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