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I always made up my own acts built them out of my knowledge and observation of real life. I'd had wonderful opportunities to study people and every time I went out on the stage I tried to show the audience some bit of true human nature.
W. C. Fields
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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Every
Opportunity
Bits
Always
Shows
Stage
Time
True
Went
Life
Nature
Study
Observation
People
Human
Wonderful
Acts
Humans
Audience
Opportunities
Real
Knowledge
Tried
Made
Show
Built
More quotes by W. C. Fields
You can't cheat an honest man.
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Take me down to the bar! We'll drink breakfast together!
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I'd rather have two girls at 21 each than one girl at 42.
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What a gorgeous day. What effulgent sunshine. It was a day of this sort the McGillicuddy brothers murdered their mother with an axe.
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I drink with impunity...or anyone else who invites me.
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Christmas at my house is always at least six or seven times more pleasant than anywhere else. We start drinking early. And while everyone else is seeing only one Santa Claus, we'll be seeing six or seven.
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When asked to borrow money: I'll see what my lawyer says. . . . And if he says yes, I'll get another lawyer.
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Children should neither be seen or heard from - ever again.
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Somebody's been putting pineapple juice in my pineapple juice!
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I personally stay away from natural foods. At my age I need all the preservatives I can get.
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The Punkwat twins! Brentwood is the world's smallest giant, whilst his brother, Elwood, is the largest midget in the world. They baffle science!
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California is the only state in the union where you can fall asleep under a rose bush in full bloom and freeze to death.
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Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she'll expect you to keep up the standard for the rest of your life.
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Don't worry about your heart, it will last you as long as you live.
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Anyone who hates children and animals can't be all bad.
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In every big city there is always one surefire laugh, and that lies in hanging some piece of idiocy upon the people of a nearby city or town.
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Oh, insomnia! Ah, well, I know a good cure for it... Get plenty of sleep.
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I certainly do not drink all the time. I have to sleep you know.
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I've been on a 46-year diet of olives and alcohol. The latter I consume. The former I save and use over again in more alcohol. In my lifetime, I imagine, I have consumed at least $200,000 worth of whisky.
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Beer: Helping ugly people have sex since 3000 B. C.
W. C. Fields
