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I ad lib most of my dialogue. If I did remember my lines, it would be too bad for me.

W. C. Fields

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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Would
Ads
Dialogue
Lines
Remember

More quotes by W. C. Fields

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Few things in life are more embarrassing than the necessity of having to inform an old friend that you have just got engaged to his fiancee.
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Dentists, lawyers, doctors are all a bunch of thieving bastards.
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Never give a sucker an even break.
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Comedy is merely tragedy happening to someone else.
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It's what you do that counts and not what you say therefore I fired my press agent.
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Ultimately chess is just chess - not the best thing in the world and not the worst thing in the world, but there is nothing quite like it.
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I don't have to attend every argument I'm invited to.
W. C. Fields
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I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.
W. C. Fields
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Never cry over spilt milk, because it may have been poisoned.
W. C. Fields
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Never mind what I told you - you do as I tell you.
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Don't worry about your heart, it will last you as long as you live.
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It is impossible to find twelve fair men in all the world.
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A man who overindulges lives in a dream. He becomes conceited. He thinks the whole world revolves around him and it usually does.
W. C. Fields
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If a thing is worth having, it's worth cheating for.
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The income tax was devised to give lawyers and certified public accountants business. Few persons can make head, tail, or middle out of it. Einstein admitted he couldn't.
W. C. Fields
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The funniest thing a comedian can do is not do it.
W. C. Fields
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Was I in here last night and did I spend a $20 bill? Oh, thank goodness... I thought I'd lost it.
W. C. Fields
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I write my scripts short and they develop on the set, which I have found a far better premise both economically and practically.
W. C. Fields
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I never drink water... fish f**k in it.
W. C. Fields
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There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull by the tail and face the situation.
W. C. Fields