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Hollywood is the gold cap on a tooth that should have been pulled out years ago.
W. C. Fields
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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Caps
Pulled
Teeth
Hollywood
Gold
Years
Tooth
More quotes by W. C. Fields
I'm searching for loopholes.
W. C. Fields
When asked to borrow money: I'll see what my lawyer says. . . . And if he says yes, I'll get another lawyer.
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What would you do if you were President, and, on the first day of May, the Russian Ambassador presented you with a beautiful cake which emitted a curious ticking noise? Would you plunge it into a pail of water - thus insulting Soviet cuisine in general?
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The Punkwat twins! Brentwood is the world's smallest giant, whilst his brother, Elwood, is the largest midget in the world. They baffle science!
W. C. Fields
I once spent a year in Philadelphia, I think it was on a Sunday.
W. C. Fields
Show me a great actor and I'll show you a lousy husband. Show me a great actress, and you've seen the devil.
W. C. Fields
I personally stay away from natural foods. At my age I need all the preservatives I can get.
W. C. Fields
Never work with animals or children.
W. C. Fields
Beer: Helping ugly people have sex since 3000 B. C.
W. C. Fields
Comedy is merely tragedy happening to someone else.
W. C. Fields
Don't worry about your heart, it will last you as long as you live.
W. C. Fields
I believe in tying the marriage knot, as long as it's around the woman's neck
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Thou shalt not kill anything less than a fifth.
W. C. Fields
I would rather be living in Philadelphia.
W. C. Fields
Attitude is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than what people do or say. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill.
W. C. Fields
Smile first thing in the morning. Get it over with.
W. C. Fields
My daughter wants to throw a stone at a bad man. I stop her from throwing, shaking my head and giving her a little slap. My disapproval is complete. You think: 'That's right, she shouldn't throw a stone even at a villain.' Then I hand her a brick to throw.
W. C. Fields
Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain unless you've used up all the other four-letter words.
W. C. Fields
How is the human race going to survive now that the cost of living has gone up two dollars a quart?
W. C. Fields
There are better things than sex, but nothing quite like it.
W. C. Fields
