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Hollywood is the gold cap on a tooth that should have been pulled out years ago.
W. C. Fields
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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Tooth
Caps
Pulled
Teeth
Hollywood
Gold
Years
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Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.
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I don't believe in dining on an empty stomach.
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Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.
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I can do anything I want to do!
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If pigs had wings, they would be pigeons.
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Thou shalt not steal-only from other comedians.
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After two days in the hospital, I turn to the nurse.
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Don't worry about your heart, it will last you as long as you live.
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There are only two real ways to get ahead today - sell liquor or drink it.
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The laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn over by themselves.
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I'd take a Bromo, but I can't stand the noise.
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The nation needs to return to the colonial way of life, when a wife was judged by the amount of wood she could split.
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Alcoholic: anybody who drinks more than I do.
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It is impossible to find twelve fair men in all the world.
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Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water.
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My main ambition as a gardener is to water my orange trees with gin, then all I have to do is squeeze the juice into a glass.
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Never eat at a place called 'Moms', but if the only other place in town has a sign that says 'Eats', go back to Moms.
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All the men in my family were bearded, and most of the women.
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Philadelphia, wonderful town, spent a week there one night
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Ye Gads, no! I couldn't stand the noise.
W. C. Fields
