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Dentists, lawyers, doctors are all a bunch of thieving bastards.
W. C. Fields
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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Bastards
Dentist
Lawyers
Lawyer
Bunch
Doctors
Thieving
Dentists
More quotes by W. C. Fields
If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in being a damn fool about it.
W. C. Fields
I don't drink water. Have you seen the way it rusts pipes?
W. C. Fields
A man without a woman is like a neck without a pain.
W. C. Fields
The funniest thing about comedy is that you never know why people laugh. I know what makes them laugh but trying to get your hands on the why of it is like trying to pick an eel out of a tub of water.
W. C. Fields
I would rather be living in Philadelphia.
W. C. Fields
I don't drink anymore, on the other hand I don't drink any less either.
W. C. Fields
Alcoholic: anybody who drinks more than I do.
W. C. Fields
Sleep! The most beautiful experience in life. Except drink.
W. C. Fields
In the ten years since I had run away from home...I had gone through more strange experiences than the average person crowds into a whole lifetime.
W. C. Fields
I note the derogatory rumors concerning the use of alcoholic stimulants and lavish living. It is the penalty of greatness.
W. C. Fields
Never cry over spilt milk, because it may have been poisoned.
W. C. Fields
Trust everybody, but cut the cards yourself.
W. C. Fields
What a gorgeous day. What effulgent sunshine. It was a day of this sort the McGillicuddy brothers murdered their mother with an axe.
W. C. Fields
Money will not buy happiness, but it will let you be unhappy in nice places.
W. C. Fields
Beer: Helping ugly people have sex since 3000 B. C.
W. C. Fields
After two days in the hospital, I turn to the nurse.
W. C. Fields
I write my scripts short and they develop on the set, which I have found a far better premise both economically and practically.
W. C. Fields
There are seven natural openings in the head and body. A lawyer is the only human being with eight. The extra one is a slot to store money in, should his bank be unable to hold all of it.
W. C. Fields
Comedy is a serious business. A serious business with only one purpose--to make people laugh.
W. C. Fields
Try till you succeed...if you don't succeed once, then destroy all evidence of the fact that you tried!
W. C. Fields
