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Dentists, lawyers, doctors are all a bunch of thieving bastards.

W. C. Fields

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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Doctors
Thieving
Dentists
Bastards
Dentist
Lawyers
Lawyer
Bunch

More quotes by W. C. Fields

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Business is an establishment that gives you the legal, even though unethical, right to screw the naive-right, left, and in the middle.
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Never eat at a place called 'Moms', but if the only other place in town has a sign that says 'Eats', go back to Moms.
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I don't believe in dining on an empty stomach.
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I drink with impunity...or anyone else who invites me.
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Comedy is a serious business. A serious business with only one purpose--to make people laugh.
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I'm looking for loopholes.
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The two-headed boy in the circus never had such a headache.
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Now don't say you can't swear off drinking it's easy. I've done it a thousand times.
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I spent half my money on gambling, alcohol and wild women. The other half I wasted.
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I never drink water. I'm afraid it will become habit-forming.
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What would you do if you were President, and, on the first day of May, the Russian Ambassador presented you with a beautiful cake which emitted a curious ticking noise? Would you plunge it into a pail of water - thus insulting Soviet cuisine in general?
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To me, these biblical stories are just so many fish stories, and I'm not specifically referring to Jonah and the whale. I need indisputable proof of anything I'm asked to believe.
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Some weasel took the cork out of my lunch.
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My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies.
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Sex isn't necessary. You don't die without it, but you can die having it.
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My main ambition as a gardener is to water my orange trees with gin, then all I have to do is squeeze the juice into a glass.
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During one of my treks through Afghanistan, we lost our corkscrew. We were compelled to live on food and water for several days.
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It is impossible to find twelve fair men in all the world.
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I never met a kid I liked.
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If I had my life to live over again, I'd live over a saloon.
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