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A comic should suffer as much over a single line as a man with a hernia would in picking up a heavy barbell.
W. C. Fields
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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Heavy
Line
Barbell
Single
Hernia
Lines
Hernias
Suffering
Picking
Much
Comic
Would
Men
Suffer
More quotes by W. C. Fields
The cost of living has gone up another dollar a quart.
W. C. Fields
My main ambition as a gardener is to water my orange trees with gin, then all I have to do is squeeze the juice into a glass.
W. C. Fields
You can't cheat an honest man.
W. C. Fields
Money will not buy happiness, but it will let you be unhappy in nice places.
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There are seven natural openings in the head and body. A lawyer is the only human being with eight. The extra one is a slot to store money in, should his bank be unable to hold all of it.
W. C. Fields
I'd take a Bromo, but I can't stand the noise.
W. C. Fields
Trust everybody, but cut the cards yourself.
W. C. Fields
If there's a will, prosperity can't be far behind.
W. C. Fields
My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies.
W. C. Fields
If I ever found a church that didn't believe in knocking all the other churches, I might consider joining it.
W. C. Fields
When we have lost everything, including hope, life becomes a disgrace, and death a duty.
W. C. Fields
If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in being a damn fool about it.
W. C. Fields
Where there is a will, there's prosperity around the corner.
W. C. Fields
It's a funny old world. A man's lucky if he gets out of it alive.
W. C. Fields
All things considered, I'd rather be in Philadelphia
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What a gorgeous day. What effulgent sunshine. It was a day of this sort the McGillicuddy brothers murdered their mother with an axe.
W. C. Fields
I believe in tying the marriage knot, as long as it's around the woman's neck
W. C. Fields
It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to.
W. C. Fields
The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with baited breath.
W. C. Fields
Ultimately chess is just chess - not the best thing in the world and not the worst thing in the world, but there is nothing quite like it.
W. C. Fields
