Quote

If pigs had wings, they would be pigeons.

W. C. Fields

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Would
Pigeons
Pigs
Wings

More quotes by W. C. Fields

Image
Take me down to the bar! We'll drink breakfast together!
W. C. Fields
Image
Show me a great actor and I'll show you a lousy husband. Show me a great actress, and you've seen the devil.
W. C. Fields
Image
No doubt exists that all women are crazy it's only a question of degree.
W. C. Fields
Image
Never work with animals or children.
W. C. Fields
Image
Never cry over spilt milk, because it may have been poisoned.
W. C. Fields
Image
It is well to remember that there are five reasons for drinking: the arrival of a friend, one's present or future thirst, the excellence of the cognac, or any other reason
W. C. Fields
Image
I like children. If they're properly cooked.
W. C. Fields
Image
I feel like a midget with muddy feet had been walking over my tongue all night.
W. C. Fields
Image
It's what you do that counts and not what you say therefore I fired my press agent.
W. C. Fields
Image
Fields' reply: He'd think I was a sissy.
W. C. Fields
Image
All Englishmen talk as if they've got a bushel of plums stuck in their throats, and then after swallowing them get constipated from the pips.
W. C. Fields
Image
Everybody's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer.
W. C. Fields
Image
You can't cheat an honest man.
W. C. Fields
Image
My daughter wants to throw a stone at a bad man. I stop her from throwing, shaking my head and giving her a little slap. My disapproval is complete. You think: 'That's right, she shouldn't throw a stone even at a villain.' Then I hand her a brick to throw.
W. C. Fields
Image
A thing worth having is a thing worth cheating for.
W. C. Fields
Image
I personally stay away from natural foods. At my age I need all the preservatives I can get.
W. C. Fields
Image
The funniest thing about comedy is that you never know why people laugh. I know what makes them laugh but trying to get your hands on the why of it is like trying to pick an eel out of a tub of water.
W. C. Fields
Image
There is not a man in America who has not had a secret ambition to boot an infant.
W. C. Fields
Image
If a thing is worth having, it's worth cheating for.
W. C. Fields
Image
A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
W. C. Fields