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I'd take a Bromo, but I can't stand the noise.

W. C. Fields

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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Noise
Stand
Take

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It is funnier to bend things than to break them.
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The nation needs to return to the colonial way of life, when a wife was judged by the amount of wood she could split.
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The cost of living has gone up another dollar a quart.
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I was almost put out of business by a well-meaning corpse.
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Children should neither be seen or heard from - ever again.
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A thing worth having is a thing worth cheating for.
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Wouldn't it be terrible if I quoted some reliable statistics which prove that more people are driven insane through religious hysteria than by drinking alcohol.
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A comic should suffer as much over a single line as a man with a hernia would in picking up a heavy barbell.
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I personally stay away from natural foods. At my age I need all the preservatives I can get.
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I never drank anything stronger than beer before I was twelve.
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All Englishmen talk as if they've got a bushel of plums stuck in their throats, and then after swallowing them get constipated from the pips.
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I used to be indecisive, now I'm not so sure.
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Ye Gads, no! I couldn't stand the noise.
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It's what you do that counts and not what you say therefore I fired my press agent.
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Smile first thing in the morning. Get it over with.
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A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
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Everybody's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer.
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Ain't fit for man nor beast
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It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to.
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I only drink to steady my nerves... sometimes I'm so steady I don't move for months.
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