Quote

I'd take a Bromo, but I can't stand the noise.

W. C. Fields

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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Noise
Stand
Take

More quotes by W. C. Fields

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A thing worth having is a thing worth cheating for.
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Trust everybody, but cut the cards yourself.
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Show me a great actor and I'll show you a lousy husband. Show me a great actress, and you've seen the devil.
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Was I in here last night and did I spend a $20 bill? Oh, thank goodness... I thought I'd lost it.
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Marriage is better than leprosy only because it's easier to get rid of.
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If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in being a damn fool about it.
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In every big city there is always one surefire laugh, and that lies in hanging some piece of idiocy upon the people of a nearby city or town.
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Happiness means quiet nerves.
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A merry Christmas to all my friends except two.
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The Punkwat twins! Brentwood is the world's smallest giant, whilst his brother, Elwood, is the largest midget in the world. They baffle science!
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Few things in life are more embarrassing than the necessity of having to inform an old friend that you have just got engaged to his fiancee.
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If a thing is worth having, it's worth cheating for.
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I was in love with a beautiful blonde once. She drove me to drink. That's the one thing I'm indebted to her for.
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Prayers never bring anything... They may bring solace to the sap, the bigot, the ignorant, the aboriginal, and the lazy - but to the enlightened it is the same as asking Santa Claus to bring you something for Xmas
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Remember, a dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live one to swim upstream.
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A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
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Fields' reply: He'd think I was a sissy.
W. C. Fields
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I've been on a 46-year diet of olives and alcohol. The latter I consume. The former I save and use over again in more alcohol. In my lifetime, I imagine, I have consumed at least $200,000 worth of whisky.
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Take me down to the bar! We'll drink breakfast together!
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The first thing any comedian does on getting an unscheduled laugh is to verify the state of his .
W. C. Fields