Quote

It is well to remember that there are five reasons for drinking: the arrival of a friend, one's present or future thirst, the excellence of the cognac, or any other reason

W. C. Fields

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Future
Thirst
Remember
Excellence
Reason
Reasons
Wells
Drinking
Cognac
Well
Wine
Vineyards
Friend
Arrival
Present
Arrivals
Five
Grapes

More quotes by W. C. Fields

Image
Sex isn't necessary. You don't die without it, but you can die having it.
W. C. Fields
Image
I could be stranded in any town in the United States with ten cents and within an hour make $20 with the shell game.
W. C. Fields
Image
Marriage is better than leprosy only because it's easier to get rid of.
W. C. Fields
Image
The two-headed boy in the circus never had such a headache.
W. C. Fields
Image
Trust everybody, but cut the cards yourself.
W. C. Fields
Image
If I ever found a church that didn't believe in knocking all the other churches, I might consider joining it.
W. C. Fields
Image
All the men in my family were bearded, and most of the women.
W. C. Fields
Image
I once spent a year in Philadelphia, I think it was on a Sunday.
W. C. Fields
Image
When life hands you lemons, make whisky sours.
W. C. Fields
Image
Ultimately chess is just chess - not the best thing in the world and not the worst thing in the world, but there is nothing quite like it.
W. C. Fields
Image
No man is boss in his own home, but he can make up for it, he thinks, by making a dog play dead.
W. C. Fields
Image
I like children. If they're properly cooked.
W. C. Fields
Image
Smile first thing in the morning. Get it over with.
W. C. Fields
Image
I can do anything I want to do!
W. C. Fields
Image
The funniest thing a comedian can do is not do it.
W. C. Fields
Image
I've been barbecued, stewed, screwed, tattooed, and fried by people claiming to be my friends. The human race has gone backward, not forward, since the days we were apes swinging through the trees.
W. C. Fields
Image
I spent half my money on gambling, alcohol and wild women. The other half I wasted.
W. C. Fields
Image
You can fool some of the people some of the time -- and that's enough to make a decent living.
W. C. Fields
Image
Bert Williams was the funniest man I ever saw and the saddest man I ever knew.
W. C. Fields
Image
In the ten years since I had run away from home...I had gone through more strange experiences than the average person crowds into a whole lifetime.
W. C. Fields