Quote

It is well to remember that there are five reasons for drinking: the arrival of a friend, one's present or future thirst, the excellence of the cognac, or any other reason

W. C. Fields

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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Well
Wine
Vineyards
Friend
Arrival
Present
Arrivals
Five
Grapes
Future
Thirst
Remember
Excellence
Reason
Reasons
Wells
Drinking
Cognac

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I never drink water... fish f**k in it.
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In every big city there is always one surefire laugh, and that lies in hanging some piece of idiocy upon the people of a nearby city or town.
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There are seven natural openings in the head and body. A lawyer is the only human being with eight. The extra one is a slot to store money in, should his bank be unable to hold all of it.
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Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she'll expect you to keep up the standard for the rest of your life.
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Smile first thing in the morning. Get it over with.
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Marriage is better than leprosy only because it's easier to get rid of.
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I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.
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I write my scripts short and they develop on the set, which I have found a far better premise both economically and practically.
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First prize was a week in Philadelphia. Second prize was two weeks.
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I'm searching for loopholes.
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Philadelphia, wonderful town, spent a week there one night
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