Quote

Yes I do like children ... Girl children...about eighteen or twenty.

W. C. Fields

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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Children
Like
Eighteen
Twenty
Twenties
Girl

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It's what you do that counts and not what you say therefore I fired my press agent.
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Christmas at my house is always at least six or seven times more pleasant than anywhere else. We start drinking early. And while everyone else is seeing only one Santa Claus, we'll be seeing six or seven.
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I'd rather have two girls at 21 each than one girl at 42.
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Never give a sucker an even break.
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I don't drink anymore, on the other hand I don't drink any less either.
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My heart is a bargain today. Will you take it?
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I spent half my money on gambling, alcohol and wild women. The other half I wasted.
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When we have lost everything, including hope, life becomes a disgrace, and death a duty.
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I've been on a 46-year diet of olives and alcohol. The latter I consume. The former I save and use over again in more alcohol. In my lifetime, I imagine, I have consumed at least $200,000 worth of whisky.
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Sleep! The most beautiful experience in life. Except drink.
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If I had to live my life over, I'd live over a saloon.
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There are only two real ways to get ahead today - sell liquor or drink it.
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A man without a woman is like a neck without a pain.
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I don't believe in dining on an empty stomach.
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Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's house unless they have a well-stocked bar.
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I like children - fried.
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I was in love with a beautiful blonde once. She drove me to drink. That's the one thing I'm indebted to her for.
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Women are like elephants to me. I like to look at them, but I wouldn't want to own one.
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Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite, and furthermore always carry a small snake.
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What would you do if you were President, and, on the first day of May, the Russian Ambassador presented you with a beautiful cake which emitted a curious ticking noise? Would you plunge it into a pail of water - thus insulting Soviet cuisine in general?
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