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I seldom took a drink on the set before 9 a.m.
W. C. Fields
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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Seldom
Took
Drink
More quotes by W. C. Fields
I didn't squawk about the steak, dear. I merely said I didn't see that old horse that used to be tethered outside here.
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All things considered, I'd rather be in Philadelphia
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There is not a man in America who has not had a secret ambition to boot an infant.
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Children should neither be seen or heard from - ever again.
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No one likes the fellow who is all rogue, but we'll forgive him almost anything if there is warmth of human sympathy underneath his rogueries. The immortal types of comedy are just such men.
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I drink with impunity...or anyone else who invites me.
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The income tax was devised to give lawyers and certified public accountants business. Few persons can make head, tail, or middle out of it. Einstein admitted he couldn't.
W. C. Fields
Some weasel took the cork out of my lunch.
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There are seven natural openings in the head and body. A lawyer is the only human being with eight. The extra one is a slot to store money in, should his bank be unable to hold all of it.
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Wouldn't it be terrible if I quoted some reliable statistics which prove that more people are driven insane through religious hysteria than by drinking alcohol.
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Money will not buy happiness, but it will let you be unhappy in nice places.
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I write my scripts short and they develop on the set, which I have found a far better premise both economically and practically.
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Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget for a butler.
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I have spent a lot of time searching through the Bible for loopholes.
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I could juggle anything in my day. Balls, cigar boxes, knives...But there was one thing I could never juggle. My income tax.
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You can fool some of the people some of the time -- and that's enough to make a decent living.
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Christmas at my house is always at least six or seven times more pleasant than anywhere else. We start drinking early. And while everyone else is seeing only one Santa Claus, we'll be seeing six or seven.
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Don't worry about your heart, it will last you as long as you live.
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All my available funds are completely tied up in cash.
W. C. Fields
Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's house unless they have a well-stocked bar.
W. C. Fields
