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I seldom took a drink on the set before 9 a.m.

W. C. Fields

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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Seldom
Took
Drink

More quotes by W. C. Fields

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All Englishmen talk as if they've got a bushel of plums stuck in their throats, and then after swallowing them get constipated from the pips.
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Everybody's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer.
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Marriage is better than leprosy only because it's easier to get rid of.
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My main ambition as a gardener is to water my orange trees with gin, then all I have to do is squeeze the juice into a glass.
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After two days in the hospital, I turn to the nurse.
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When life hands you lemons, make whisky sours.
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I note the derogatory rumors concerning the use of alcoholic stimulants and lavish living. It is the penalty of greatness.
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To me, these biblical stories are just so many fish stories, and I'm not specifically referring to Jonah and the whale. I need indisputable proof of anything I'm asked to believe.
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I've never hit a woman in my life. Not even my own mother.
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A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her.
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Never cry over spilt milk, because it may have been poisoned.
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It's a funny old world. A man's lucky if he gets out of it alive.
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If it does not work the first time, try, try again. Then quit. No need to be an idiot.
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Some weasel took the cork out of my lunch.
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Hollywood is the gold cap on a tooth that should have been pulled out years ago.
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I don't know why I ever come in here. The flies get the best of everything.
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There are better things than sex, but nothing quite like it.
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Happiness means quiet nerves.
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I have spent a lot of time searching through the Bible for loopholes.
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It's a wonderful thing, the D.T.'s. You can travel the world in a couple of hours. You see some mighty funny and curious things that come in assorted colors.
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