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Buried my wife the other day. Had to, she died.

W. C. Fields

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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Buried
Died
Wife

More quotes by W. C. Fields

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Don't worry about your heart, it will last you as long as you live.
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If I had my life to live over again, I'd live over a saloon.
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Prayers never bring anything... They may bring solace to the sap, the bigot, the ignorant, the aboriginal, and the lazy - but to the enlightened it is the same as asking Santa Claus to bring you something for Xmas
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I'd rather have two girls at 21 each than one girl at 42.
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The Punkwat twins! Brentwood is the world's smallest giant, whilst his brother, Elwood, is the largest midget in the world. They baffle science!
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Yes I do like children ... Girl children...about eighteen or twenty.
W. C. Fields
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My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies.
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I have spent a lot of time searching through the Bible for loopholes.
W. C. Fields
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I've been barbecued, stewed, screwed, tattooed, and fried by people claiming to be my friends. The human race has gone backward, not forward, since the days we were apes swinging through the trees.
W. C. Fields
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It is impossible to find twelve fair men in all the world.
W. C. Fields
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Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget for a butler.
W. C. Fields
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I would rather be living in Philadelphia.
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A man who overindulges lives in a dream. He becomes conceited. He thinks the whole world revolves around him and it usually does.
W. C. Fields
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Last week, I went to Philadelphia, but it was closed.
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Thou shalt not kill anything less than a fifth.
W. C. Fields
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There is not a man in America who has not had a secret ambition to boot an infant.
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I drink therefore I am.
W. C. Fields
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Try till you succeed...if you don't succeed once, then destroy all evidence of the fact that you tried!
W. C. Fields
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First prize was a week in Philadelphia. Second prize was two weeks.
W. C. Fields
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What a gorgeous day. What effulgent sunshine. It was a day of this sort the McGillicuddy brothers murdered their mother with an axe.
W. C. Fields