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Buried my wife the other day. Had to, she died.
W. C. Fields
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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Buried
Died
Wife
More quotes by W. C. Fields
The work I'm doing on the screen differs from that of anyone else. My comedy is of a peculiar nature...no writers have been developed along the lines of my type of comedy and this is why I sometimes have differences with writers, supervisors and directors alike.
W. C. Fields
Never eat at a place called 'Moms', but if the only other place in town has a sign that says 'Eats', go back to Moms.
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I like children - fried.
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Never cry over spilt milk, because it may have been poisoned.
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Dentists, lawyers, doctors are all a bunch of thieving bastards.
W. C. Fields
Sex isn't necessary. You don't die without it, but you can die having it.
W. C. Fields
I don't have to attend every argument I'm invited to.
W. C. Fields
The nation needs to return to the colonial way of life, when a wife was judged by the amount of wood she could split.
W. C. Fields
It is funnier to bend things than to break them.
W. C. Fields
I exercise strong self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.
W. C. Fields
I once donated a pint of my finest red corpuscles to the great American Red Cross and the doctor opined my blood was very helpful contained so much alcohol they could use it to sterilize their instruments.
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Never mind what I told you - you do as I tell you.
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The two-headed boy in the circus never had such a headache.
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It's a wonderful thing, the D.T.'s. You can travel the world in a couple of hours. You see some mighty funny and curious things that come in assorted colors.
W. C. Fields
When you wake up in the morning, smile - and get it over with.
W. C. Fields
Ye Gads, no! I couldn't stand the noise.
W. C. Fields
I always made up my own acts built them out of my knowledge and observation of real life. I'd had wonderful opportunities to study people and every time I went out on the stage I tried to show the audience some bit of true human nature.
W. C. Fields
After two days in the hospital, I turn to the nurse.
W. C. Fields
The only thing a lawyer won't question is the legitimacy of his mother.
W. C. Fields
Ultimately chess is just chess - not the best thing in the world and not the worst thing in the world, but there is nothing quite like it.
W. C. Fields
