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A man without a woman is like a neck without a pain.
W. C. Fields
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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Men
Like
Neck
Necks
Woman
Pain
Without
More quotes by W. C. Fields
Women are like elephants to me. I like to look at them, but I wouldn't want to own one.
W. C. Fields
Comedy is merely tragedy happening to someone else.
W. C. Fields
Sex isn't necessary. You don't die without it, but you can die having it.
W. C. Fields
I'm searching for loopholes.
W. C. Fields
The nation needs to return to the colonial way of life, when a wife was judged by the amount of wood she could split.
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When asked to borrow money: I'll see what my lawyer says. . . . And if he says yes, I'll get another lawyer.
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I was almost put out of business by a well-meaning corpse.
W. C. Fields
I never voted for anybody. I always voted against.
W. C. Fields
To me, these biblical stories are just so many fish stories, and I'm not specifically referring to Jonah and the whale. I need indisputable proof of anything I'm asked to believe.
W. C. Fields
It's quite true I'm not drinking anymore however, I'm not drinking any less either.
W. C. Fields
The funniest thing a comedian can do is not do it.
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It's a wonderful thing, the D.T.'s. You can travel the world in a couple of hours. You see some mighty funny and curious things that come in assorted colors.
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If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in being a damn fool about it.
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Prayers never bring anything... They may bring solace to the sap, the bigot, the ignorant, the aboriginal, and the lazy - but to the enlightened it is the same as asking Santa Claus to bring you something for Xmas
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If I had my life to live over again, I'd live over a saloon.
W. C. Fields
I'm looking for loopholes.
W. C. Fields
How is the human race going to survive now that the cost of living has gone up two dollars a quart?
W. C. Fields
Thou shalt not kill anything less than a fifth.
W. C. Fields
I could juggle anything in my day. Balls, cigar boxes, knives...But there was one thing I could never juggle. My income tax.
W. C. Fields
If I had to live my life over, I'd live over a saloon.
W. C. Fields
