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If I had my life to live over again, I'd live over a saloon.

W. C. Fields

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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Saloon
Saloons
Live
Life

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It's quite true I'm not drinking anymore however, I'm not drinking any less either.
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I don't drink anymore, on the other hand I don't drink any less either.
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I've never hit a woman in my life. Not even my own mother.
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Marry an outdoors woman. Then if you throw her out into the yard on a cold night, she can still survive.
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I have a poor memory for names but I seldom remember a face.
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My heart is a bargain today. Will you take it?
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I drink with impunity...or anyone else who invites me.
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I have spent a lot of time searching through the Bible for loopholes.
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Money will not buy happiness, but it will let you be unhappy in nice places.
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Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain unless you've used up all the other four-letter words.
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I'm free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.
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I never voted for anybody. I always voted against.
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I believe in tying the marriage knot, as long as it's around the woman's neck
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I personally stay away from natural foods. At my age I need all the preservatives I can get.
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Abstaining is favorable both to the head and the pocket.
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The two-headed boy in the circus never had such a headache.
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I didn't squawk about the steak, dear. I merely said I didn't see that old horse that used to be tethered outside here.
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Fields' reply: He'd think I was a sissy.
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All the men in my family were bearded, and most of the women.
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California is the only state in the union where you can fall asleep under a rose bush in full bloom and freeze to death.
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