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If I had my life to live over again, I'd live over a saloon.
W. C. Fields
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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Saloon
Saloons
Live
Life
More quotes by W. C. Fields
Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.
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I like children - fried.
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Alcoholic: anybody who drinks more than I do.
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It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to.
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It is well to remember that there are five reasons for drinking: the arrival of a friend, one's present or future thirst, the excellence of the cognac, or any other reason
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Beer: Helping ugly people have sex since 3000 B. C.
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I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.
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All things considered, I'd rather be in Philadelphia
W. C. Fields
I was almost put out of business by a well-meaning corpse.
W. C. Fields
Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she'll expect you to keep up the standard for the rest of your life.
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I have a poor memory for names but I seldom remember a face.
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Don't worry about your heart, it will last you as long as you live.
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I don't drink water. Have you seen the way it rusts pipes?
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I never voted for anybody. I always voted against.
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I'd rather have two girls at 21 each than one girl at 42.
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W. C. Fields, a lifetime agnostic, was discovered reading a Bible on his deathbed. ''I'm looking for a loop-hole,'' he explained.
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Remember, a dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live one to swim upstream.
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I once spent a year in Philadelphia, I think it was on a Sunday.
W. C. Fields
Ye Gads, no! I couldn't stand the noise.
W. C. Fields
Back in my rummy days, I would tremble and shake for hours upon arising. It was the only exercise I got.
W. C. Fields
