Quote

Try till you succeed...if you don't succeed once, then destroy all evidence of the fact that you tried!

W. C. Fields

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Fact
Facts
Trying
Till
Destroy
Tried
Evidence
Succeed

More quotes by W. C. Fields

Image
The nation needs to return to the colonial way of life, when a wife was judged by the amount of wood she could split.
W. C. Fields
Image
I don't drink anymore, on the other hand I don't drink any less either.
W. C. Fields
Image
My daughter wants to throw a stone at a bad man. I stop her from throwing, shaking my head and giving her a little slap. My disapproval is complete. You think: 'That's right, she shouldn't throw a stone even at a villain.' Then I hand her a brick to throw.
W. C. Fields
Image
The advantages of whiskey over dogs are legion. Whiskey does not need to be periodically wormed, it does not need to be fed, it never requires a special kennel, it has no toenails to be clipped or coat to be stripped. Whiskey sits quietly in its special nook until you want it. True, whiskey has a nasty habit of running out, but then so does a dog.
W. C. Fields
Image
I never voted for anybody. I always voted against.
W. C. Fields
Image
Wouldn't it be terrible if I quoted some reliable statistics which prove that more people are driven insane through religious hysteria than by drinking alcohol.
W. C. Fields
Image
Ultimately chess is just chess - not the best thing in the world and not the worst thing in the world, but there is nothing quite like it.
W. C. Fields
Image
I ad lib most of my dialogue. If I did remember my lines, it would be too bad for me.
W. C. Fields
Image
I once spent a year in Philadelphia, I think it was on a Sunday.
W. C. Fields
Image
Thou shalt not steal-only from other comedians.
W. C. Fields
Image
Marry an outdoors woman. Then if you throw her out into the yard on a cold night, she can still survive.
W. C. Fields
Image
To me, these biblical stories are just so many fish stories, and I'm not specifically referring to Jonah and the whale. I need indisputable proof of anything I'm asked to believe.
W. C. Fields
Image
I've been barbecued, stewed, screwed, tattooed, and fried by people claiming to be my friends. The human race has gone backward, not forward, since the days we were apes swinging through the trees.
W. C. Fields
Image
I'm free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.
W. C. Fields
Image
I exercise strong self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.
W. C. Fields
Image
Thou shalt not kill anything less than a fifth.
W. C. Fields
Image
Christmas at my house is always at least six or seven times more pleasant than anywhere else. We start drinking early. And while everyone else is seeing only one Santa Claus, we'll be seeing six or seven.
W. C. Fields
Image
How is the human race going to survive now that the cost of living has gone up two dollars a quart?
W. C. Fields
Image
The cost of living has gone up another dollar a quart.
W. C. Fields
Image
I never drank anything stronger than beer before I was twelve.
W. C. Fields