Quote

Marriage is better than leprosy only because it's easier to get rid of.

W. C. Fields

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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Leprosy
Marriage
Easier
Better

More quotes by W. C. Fields

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If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in being a damn fool about it.
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I've been asked if I ever get the DTs. I don't know. It's hard to tell where Hollywood ends and the DTs begin.
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Thou shalt not kill anything less than a fifth.
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Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.
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Smile first thing in the morning. Get it over with.
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Comedy is merely tragedy happening to someone else.
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You can't trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it.
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I like thieves. Some of my best friends are thieves. Why, just last week we had the president of the bank over for dinner.
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Set up another case bartender! The best thing for a case of nerves is a case of Scotch.
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I would rather be living in Philadelphia.
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The laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn over by themselves.
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A man who overindulges lives in a dream. He becomes conceited. He thinks the whole world revolves around him and it usually does.
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So long as the presence of death lurks with anyone who goes through the simple act of swallowing, I will make mine whiskey.
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Money will not buy happiness, but it will let you be unhappy in nice places.
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I could juggle anything in my day. Balls, cigar boxes, knives...But there was one thing I could never juggle. My income tax.
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Now don't say you can't swear off drinking it's easy. I've done it a thousand times.
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Somebody's been putting pineapple juice in my pineapple juice!
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Thou shalt not steal-only from other comedians.
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The cost of living has gone up another dollar a quart.
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Anyone who hates children and animals can't be all bad.
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