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I never eat before breakfast.

W. C. Fields

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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Breakfast
Never

More quotes by W. C. Fields

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I never smoked a cigar in my life until I was nine
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I'm free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.
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I feel like a midget with muddy feet had been walking over my tongue all night.
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If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in being a damn fool about it.
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I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.
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Remember, Lady Godiva put all she had on a horse and she lost her shirt!
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Philadelphia, wonderful town, spent a week there one night
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Don't worry about your heart, it will last you as long as you live.
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Last week, I went to Philadelphia, but it was closed.
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It is impossible to find twelve fair men in all the world.
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I have spent a lot of time searching through the Bible for loopholes.
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It's what you do that counts and not what you say therefore I fired my press agent.
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First prize was a week in Philadelphia. Second prize was two weeks.
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I'd rather have two girls at 21 each than one girl at 42.
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What a gorgeous day. What effulgent sunshine. It was a day of this sort the McGillicuddy brothers murdered their mother with an axe.
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I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.
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I've been on a 46-year diet of olives and alcohol. The latter I consume. The former I save and use over again in more alcohol. In my lifetime, I imagine, I have consumed at least $200,000 worth of whisky.
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Somebody's been putting pineapple juice in my pineapple juice!
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What would you do if you were President, and, on the first day of May, the Russian Ambassador presented you with a beautiful cake which emitted a curious ticking noise? Would you plunge it into a pail of water - thus insulting Soviet cuisine in general?
W. C. Fields
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There are better things than sex, but nothing quite like it.
W. C. Fields