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I never eat before breakfast.

W. C. Fields

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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Breakfast
Never

More quotes by W. C. Fields

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I only drink to steady my nerves... sometimes I'm so steady I don't move for months.
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I would rather be living in Philadelphia.
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It's morally wrong to allow a sucker to keep his money.
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The first thing any comedian does on getting an unscheduled laugh is to verify the state of his .
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I never met a kid I liked.
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I like children - fried.
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Ain't fit for man nor beast
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Women are like elephants to me. I like to look at them, but I wouldn't want to own one.
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When we have lost everything, including hope, life becomes a disgrace, and death a duty.
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A comic should suffer as much over a single line as a man with a hernia would in picking up a heavy barbell.
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Some things are better than sex, and some are worse, but there's nothing exactly like it.
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Somebody's been putting pineapple juice in my pineapple juice!
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Just like my Uncle Charlie used to say, just before he sprung the trap: He said, You can't cheat and honest man! Never give a sucker an even break or smarten up a chump!
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What would you do if you were President, and, on the first day of May, the Russian Ambassador presented you with a beautiful cake which emitted a curious ticking noise? Would you plunge it into a pail of water - thus insulting Soviet cuisine in general?
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When asked to borrow money: I'll see what my lawyer says. . . . And if he says yes, I'll get another lawyer.
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No man is boss in his own home, but he can make up for it, he thinks, by making a dog play dead.
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Thou shalt not kill anything less than a fifth.
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Marriage is better than leprosy only because it's easier to get rid of.
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Smile first thing in the morning. Get it over with.
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A man without a woman is like a neck without a pain.
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