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I never eat before breakfast.
W. C. Fields
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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Breakfast
Never
More quotes by W. C. Fields
Marriage is better than leprosy only because it's easier to get rid of.
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I have a poor memory for names but I seldom remember a face.
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Ain't fit for man nor beast
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Marry an outdoors woman. Then if you throw her out into the yard on a cold night, she can still survive.
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I never smoked a cigar in my life until I was nine
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When life hands you lemons, make whisky sours.
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I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.
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Thou shalt not kill anything less than a fifth.
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Buried my wife the other day. Had to, she died.
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Smile first thing in the morning. Get it over with.
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I note the derogatory rumors concerning the use of alcoholic stimulants and lavish living. It is the penalty of greatness.
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Never eat at a place called 'Moms', but if the only other place in town has a sign that says 'Eats', go back to Moms.
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During one of my treks through Afghanistan, we lost our corkscrew. We were compelled to live on food and water for several days.
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Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol.
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All Englishmen talk as if they've got a bushel of plums stuck in their throats, and then after swallowing them get constipated from the pips.
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I feel like a midget with muddy feet had been walking over my tongue all night.
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Don't worry about your heart, it will last you as long as you live.
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I never voted for anybody. I always voted against.
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I drink with impunity...or anyone else who invites me.
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I ad lib most of my dialogue. If I did remember my lines, it would be too bad for me.
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