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I never eat before breakfast.

W. C. Fields

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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Breakfast
Never

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I feel like a midget with muddy feet had been walking over my tongue all night.
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Sleep! The most beautiful experience in life. Except drink.
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When we have lost everything, including hope, life becomes a disgrace, and death a duty.
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It is impossible to find twelve fair men in all the world.
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Try till you succeed...if you don't succeed once, then destroy all evidence of the fact that you tried!
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I like my films to influence the audience. Even if it means tripping their aged grandparents with a cane when they get home.
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Show me a great actor and I'll show you a lousy husband. Show me a great actress, and you've seen the devil.
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California is the only state in the union where you can fall asleep under a rose bush in full bloom and freeze to death.
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Don't worry about your heart, it will last you as long as you live.
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Dentists, lawyers, doctors are all a bunch of thieving bastards.
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Some people are born losers others acquire the knack gradually.
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Alcoholic: anybody who drinks more than I do.
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It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to.
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Wouldn't it be terrible if I quoted some reliable statistics which prove that more people are driven insane through religious hysteria than by drinking alcohol.
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Everybody's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer.
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I never drink water that is the stuff that rusts pipes.
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It's morally wrong to allow a sucker to keep his money.
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I have spent a lot of time searching through the Bible for loopholes.
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There's no such thing as a tough child - if you parboil them first for seven hours, they always come out tender.
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The low-ceiling price bazaar for sexual relief was a street called Middie Alley. You could barely get a pushcart through this avenue. Top price-twenty-five cents.
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