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This job will drive me to drink, and for that reason, I will be eternally grateful.

W. C. Fields

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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Drink
Humor
Funny
Jobs
Reason
Eternally
Drive
Grateful

More quotes by W. C. Fields

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Smile first thing in the morning. Get it over with.
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During one of my treks through Afghanistan, we lost our corkscrew. We were compelled to live on food and water for several days.
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Business is an establishment that gives you the legal, even though unethical, right to screw the naive-right, left, and in the middle.
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Where there is a will, there's prosperity around the corner.
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All things considered, I'd rather be in Philadelphia
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I've been drunk only once in my life. But that lasted for twenty-three years.
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Alcoholic: anybody who drinks more than I do.
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A man who's intoxicated all the time doesn't need sympathy.
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Comedy is merely tragedy happening to someone else.
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If I had to live my life over, I'd live over a saloon.
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Remember, a dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live one to swim upstream.
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If pigs had wings, they would be pigeons.
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It was a marriage of convenience, as my father had a blister on his big toe and couldn't travel far to find a girl.
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Never give a sucker an even break.
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I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy.
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I never worry about being driven to drink I just worry about being driven home.
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When asked to borrow money: I'll see what my lawyer says. . . . And if he says yes, I'll get another lawyer.
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I have been advised by the best medical authority, at my age, not to attempt to give up alcohol.
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The work I'm doing on the screen differs from that of anyone else. My comedy is of a peculiar nature...no writers have been developed along the lines of my type of comedy and this is why I sometimes have differences with writers, supervisors and directors alike.
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I always made up my own acts built them out of my knowledge and observation of real life. I'd had wonderful opportunities to study people and every time I went out on the stage I tried to show the audience some bit of true human nature.
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