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This job will drive me to drink, and for that reason, I will be eternally grateful.
W. C. Fields
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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Eternally
Drive
Grateful
Drink
Humor
Funny
Jobs
Reason
More quotes by W. C. Fields
Drown in a cold vat of whiskey? Death, where is thy sting?
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It is funnier to bend things than to break them.
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You can fool some of the people some of the time -- and that's enough to make a decent living.
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I like my films to influence the audience. Even if it means tripping their aged grandparents with a cane when they get home.
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Some people are born losers others acquire the knack gradually.
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Comedy is a serious business. A serious business with only one purpose--to make people laugh.
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I certainly do not drink all the time. I have to sleep you know.
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I'm looking for loopholes. (Said when caught reading the Bible.).
W. C. Fields
The first thing any comedian does on getting an unscheduled laugh is to verify the state of his .
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If a thing is worth having, it's worth cheating for.
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I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.
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I drink with impunity...or anyone else who invites me.
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A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her.
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Prayers never bring anything... They may bring solace to the sap, the bigot, the ignorant, the aboriginal, and the lazy - but to the enlightened it is the same as asking Santa Claus to bring you something for Xmas
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Dentists, lawyers, doctors are all a bunch of thieving bastards.
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Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol.
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I exercise strong self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.
W. C. Fields
I don't have to attend every argument I'm invited to.
W. C. Fields
I feel like a midget with muddy feet had been walking over my tongue all night.
W. C. Fields
I never eat before breakfast.
W. C. Fields
