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This job will drive me to drink, and for that reason, I will be eternally grateful.

W. C. Fields

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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Humor
Funny
Jobs
Reason
Eternally
Drive
Grateful
Drink

More quotes by W. C. Fields

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I have a poor memory for names but I seldom remember a face.
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No man is boss in his own home, but he can make up for it, he thinks, by making a dog play dead.
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Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite, and furthermore always carry a small snake.
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Anyone who hates children and animals can't be all bad.
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I never smoked a cigar in my life until I was nine
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No doubt exists that all women are crazy it's only a question of degree.
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Ultimately chess is just chess - not the best thing in the world and not the worst thing in the world, but there is nothing quite like it.
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Business is an establishment that gives you the legal, even though unethical, right to screw the naive-right, left, and in the middle.
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I write my scripts short and they develop on the set, which I have found a far better premise both economically and practically.
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I spent half my money on gambling, alcohol and wild women. The other half I wasted.
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How is the human race going to survive now that the cost of living has gone up two dollars a quart?
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Remember, a dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live one to swim upstream.
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Ain't fit for man nor beast
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I drink with impunity...or anyone else who invites me.
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If a thing is worth having, it's worth cheating for.
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When life hands you lemons, make whisky sours.
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Set up another case bartender! The best thing for a case of nerves is a case of Scotch.
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When we have lost everything, including hope, life becomes a disgrace, and death a duty.
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The movie people would have nothing to do with me until they heard me speak in a Broadway play, then they all wanted to sign me for the silent movies.
W. C. Fields
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W. C. Fields, a lifetime agnostic, was discovered reading a Bible on his deathbed. ''I'm looking for a loop-hole,'' he explained.
W. C. Fields