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This job will drive me to drink, and for that reason, I will be eternally grateful.
W. C. Fields
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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Jobs
Reason
Eternally
Drive
Grateful
Drink
Humor
Funny
More quotes by W. C. Fields
I don't have to attend every argument I'm invited to.
W. C. Fields
The work I'm doing on the screen differs from that of anyone else. My comedy is of a peculiar nature...no writers have been developed along the lines of my type of comedy and this is why I sometimes have differences with writers, supervisors and directors alike.
W. C. Fields
The laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn over by themselves.
W. C. Fields
I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.
W. C. Fields
Dentists, lawyers, doctors are all a bunch of thieving bastards.
W. C. Fields
My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies.
W. C. Fields
If I had to live my life over, I'd live over a saloon.
W. C. Fields
The only thing a lawyer won't question is the legitimacy of his mother.
W. C. Fields
All things considered, I'd rather be in Philadelphia
W. C. Fields
I write my scripts short and they develop on the set, which I have found a far better premise both economically and practically.
W. C. Fields
I spent half my money on gambling, alcohol and wild women. The other half I wasted.
W. C. Fields
Now don't say you can't swear off drinking it's easy. I've done it a thousand times.
W. C. Fields
Alcoholic: anybody who drinks more than I do.
W. C. Fields
Say anything that you like about me except that I drink water.
W. C. Fields
I personally stay away from natural foods. At my age I need all the preservatives I can get.
W. C. Fields
Sleep! The most beautiful experience in life. Except drink.
W. C. Fields
It's quite true I'm not drinking anymore however, I'm not drinking any less either.
W. C. Fields
I've been barbecued, stewed, screwed, tattooed, and fried by people claiming to be my friends. The human race has gone backward, not forward, since the days we were apes swinging through the trees.
W. C. Fields
Yes I do like children ... Girl children...about eighteen or twenty.
W. C. Fields
It is funnier to bend things than to break them.
W. C. Fields
