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The funniest thing a comedian can do is not do it.
W. C. Fields
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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Funniest
Comedian
Thing
More quotes by W. C. Fields
If there's a will, prosperity can't be far behind.
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Smile first thing in the morning. Get it over with.
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In the ten years since I had run away from home...I had gone through more strange experiences than the average person crowds into a whole lifetime.
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Yes I do like children ... Girl children...about eighteen or twenty.
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Ultimately chess is just chess - not the best thing in the world and not the worst thing in the world, but there is nothing quite like it.
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What would you do if you were President, and, on the first day of May, the Russian Ambassador presented you with a beautiful cake which emitted a curious ticking noise? Would you plunge it into a pail of water - thus insulting Soviet cuisine in general?
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First prize was a week in Philadelphia. Second prize was two weeks.
W. C. Fields
All the men in my family were bearded, and most of the women.
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I'm free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.
W. C. Fields
I never smoked a cigar in my life until I was nine
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I always made up my own acts built them out of my knowledge and observation of real life. I'd had wonderful opportunities to study people and every time I went out on the stage I tried to show the audience some bit of true human nature.
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Children should neither be seen or heard from - ever again.
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If it does not work the first time, try, try again. Then quit. No need to be an idiot.
W. C. Fields
No doubt exists that all women are crazy it's only a question of degree.
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I like children - fried.
W. C. Fields
After two days in the hospital, I turn to the nurse.
W. C. Fields
So long as the presence of death lurks with anyone who goes through the simple act of swallowing, I will make mine whiskey.
W. C. Fields
This job will drive me to drink, and for that reason, I will be eternally grateful.
W. C. Fields
All things considered, I'd rather be in Philadelphia
W. C. Fields
Take me down to the bar! We'll drink breakfast together!
W. C. Fields
