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In the ten years since I had run away from home...I had gone through more strange experiences than the average person crowds into a whole lifetime.

W. C. Fields

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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Gone
Running
Crowds
Away
Experiences
Home
Ten
Persons
Lifetime
Person
Average
Whole
Strange
Years
Since

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If I had to live my life over, I'd live over a saloon.
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Marry an outdoors woman. Then if you throw her out into the yard on a cold night, she can still survive.
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I didn't say the meat was tough. I said I didn't see the horse that is usually outside.
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Variant: I was driven to drink by a woman. I am forever grateful, yet I never had the good manners to thank her.
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When doctors and undertakers meet, they wink at each other.
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Some things are better than sex, and some are worse, but there's nothing exactly like it.
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If a thing is worth having, it's worth cheating for.
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I could juggle anything in my day. Balls, cigar boxes, knives...But there was one thing I could never juggle. My income tax.
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Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain unless you've used up all the other four-letter words.
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No doubt exists that all women are crazy it's only a question of degree.
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I seldom took a drink on the set before 9 a.m.
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The cost of living has gone up another dollar a quart.
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A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her.
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I never smoked a cigar in my life until I was nine
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I don't know why I ever come in here. The flies get the best of everything.
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I'm free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.
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Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.
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I could be stranded in any town in the United States with ten cents and within an hour make $20 with the shell game.
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I once spent a year in Philadelphia, I think it was on a Sunday.
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