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In the ten years since I had run away from home...I had gone through more strange experiences than the average person crowds into a whole lifetime.

W. C. Fields

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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Away
Experiences
Home
Ten
Persons
Lifetime
Person
Average
Whole
Strange
Years
Since
Gone
Running
Crowds

More quotes by W. C. Fields

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I once spent a year in Philadelphia, I think it was on a Sunday.
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I'm searching for loopholes.
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Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.
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If I had my life to live over again, I'd live over a saloon.
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Buried my wife the other day. Had to, she died.
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Some people are born losers others acquire the knack gradually.
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Never eat at a place called 'Moms', but if the only other place in town has a sign that says 'Eats', go back to Moms.
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Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget for a butler.
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No doubt exists that all women are crazy it's only a question of degree.
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A comic should suffer as much over a single line as a man with a hernia would in picking up a heavy barbell.
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My main ambition as a gardener is to water my orange trees with gin, then all I have to do is squeeze the juice into a glass.
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Trust everybody, but cut the cards yourself.
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Everybody's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer.
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I always made up my own acts built them out of my knowledge and observation of real life. I'd had wonderful opportunities to study people and every time I went out on the stage I tried to show the audience some bit of true human nature.
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Smile first thing in the morning. Get it over with.
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I never voted for anybody. I always voted against.
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I could juggle anything in my day. Balls, cigar boxes, knives...But there was one thing I could never juggle. My income tax.
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I didn't say the meat was tough. I said I didn't see the horse that is usually outside.
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How is the human race going to survive now that the cost of living has gone up two dollars a quart?
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The funniest thing a comedian can do is not do it.
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