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I could juggle anything in my day. Balls, cigar boxes, knives...But there was one thing I could never juggle. My income tax.

W. C. Fields

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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Knives
Boxes
Balls
Income
Taxes
Anything
Thing
Juggle
Never
Cigar

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Sleep! The most beautiful experience in life. Except drink.
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I don't object to nine aces in one deck. But when a man lays down five aces in one hand... and besides, I know what I dealt him!
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First prize was a week in Philadelphia. Second prize was two weeks.
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I have spent a lot of time searching through the Bible for loopholes.
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Trust everybody, but cut the cards yourself.
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California is the only state in the union where you can fall asleep under a rose bush in full bloom and freeze to death.
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I don't know why I ever come in here. The flies get the best of everything.
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Buried my wife the other day. Had to, she died.
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Everybody's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer.
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Some weasel took the cork out of my lunch.
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