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I could be stranded in any town in the United States with ten cents and within an hour make $20 with the shell game.
W. C. Fields
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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Game
Stranded
Within
Shell
Games
Shells
Hours
Cents
United
Town
States
Towns
Make
Ten
Hour
More quotes by W. C. Fields
I spent half my money on gambling, alcohol and wild women. The other half I wasted.
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I write my scripts short and they develop on the set, which I have found a far better premise both economically and practically.
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I must have a drink of breakfast.
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So long as the presence of death lurks with anyone who goes through the simple act of swallowing, I will make mine whiskey.
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How is the human race going to survive now that the cost of living has gone up two dollars a quart?
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Oh, insomnia! Ah, well, I know a good cure for it... Get plenty of sleep.
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Wouldn't it be terrible if I quoted some reliable statistics which prove that more people are driven insane through religious hysteria than by drinking alcohol.
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I note the derogatory rumors concerning the use of alcoholic stimulants and lavish living. It is the penalty of greatness.
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My main ambition as a gardener is to water my orange trees with gin, then all I have to do is squeeze the juice into a glass.
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Ain't fit for man nor beast
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This job will drive me to drink, and for that reason, I will be eternally grateful.
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Hollywood is the gold cap on a tooth that should have been pulled out years ago.
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Drown in a cold vat of whiskey? Death, where is thy sting?
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I didn't squawk about the steak, dear. I merely said I didn't see that old horse that used to be tethered outside here.
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I don't drink water. Have you seen the way it rusts pipes?
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Now don't say you can't swear off drinking it's easy. I've done it a thousand times.
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Never work with animals or children.
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I'm looking for loopholes. (Said when caught reading the Bible.).
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Smile first thing in the morning. Get it over with.
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I'm free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.
W. C. Fields
