Quote

I could be stranded in any town in the United States with ten cents and within an hour make $20 with the shell game.

W. C. Fields

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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
United
Town
States
Towns
Make
Ten
Hour
Game
Stranded
Within
Shell
Games
Shells
Hours
Cents

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Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.
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I never drink water. I'm afraid it will become habit-forming.
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Money will not buy happiness, but it will let you be unhappy in nice places.
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I've been drunk only once in my life. But that lasted for twenty-three years.
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Prayers never bring anything... They may bring solace to the sap, the bigot, the ignorant, the aboriginal, and the lazy - but to the enlightened it is the same as asking Santa Claus to bring you something for Xmas
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Some things are better than sex, and some are worse, but there's nothing exactly like it.
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Bert Williams was the funniest man I ever saw and the saddest man I ever knew.
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I've been on a 46-year diet of olives and alcohol. The latter I consume. The former I save and use over again in more alcohol. In my lifetime, I imagine, I have consumed at least $200,000 worth of whisky.
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Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol.
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After two days in the hospital, I turn to the nurse.
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I certainly do not drink all the time. I have to sleep you know.
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A man who's intoxicated all the time doesn't need sympathy.
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Oh, insomnia! Ah, well, I know a good cure for it... Get plenty of sleep.
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Never mind what I told you - you do as I tell you.
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Ultimately chess is just chess - not the best thing in the world and not the worst thing in the world, but there is nothing quite like it.
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I would rather be living in Philadelphia.
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Never eat at a place called 'Moms', but if the only other place in town has a sign that says 'Eats', go back to Moms.
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I feel like a midget with muddy feet had been walking over my tongue all night.
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I drink with impunity...or anyone else who invites me.
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