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I could be stranded in any town in the United States with ten cents and within an hour make $20 with the shell game.
W. C. Fields
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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Games
Shells
Hours
Cents
United
Town
States
Towns
Make
Ten
Hour
Game
Stranded
Within
Shell
More quotes by W. C. Fields
Sleep! The most beautiful experience in life. Except drink.
W. C. Fields
I've been on a 46-year diet of olives and alcohol. The latter I consume. The former I save and use over again in more alcohol. In my lifetime, I imagine, I have consumed at least $200,000 worth of whisky.
W. C. Fields
The world is getting to be such a dangerous place, a man is lucky to get out of it alive.
W. C. Fields
I certainly do not drink all the time. I have to sleep you know.
W. C. Fields
Beer: Helping ugly people have sex since 3000 B. C.
W. C. Fields
It's what you do that counts and not what you say therefore I fired my press agent.
W. C. Fields
Some things are better than sex, and some are worse, but there's nothing exactly like it.
W. C. Fields
Trust everybody, but cut the cards yourself.
W. C. Fields
First prize was a week in Philadelphia. Second prize was two weeks.
W. C. Fields
Now don't say you can't swear off drinking it's easy. I've done it a thousand times.
W. C. Fields
Fields' reply: He'd think I was a sissy.
W. C. Fields
When life hands you lemons, make whisky sours.
W. C. Fields
Take me down to the bar! We'll drink breakfast together!
W. C. Fields
The advantages of whiskey over dogs are legion. Whiskey does not need to be periodically wormed, it does not need to be fed, it never requires a special kennel, it has no toenails to be clipped or coat to be stripped. Whiskey sits quietly in its special nook until you want it. True, whiskey has a nasty habit of running out, but then so does a dog.
W. C. Fields
Children should neither be seen or heard from - ever again.
W. C. Fields
I never drink water... fish f**k in it.
W. C. Fields
Christmas at my house is always at least six or seven times more pleasant than anywhere else. We start drinking early. And while everyone else is seeing only one Santa Claus, we'll be seeing six or seven.
W. C. Fields
Philadelphia, wonderful town, spent a week there one night
W. C. Fields
There is not a man in America who has not had a secret ambition to boot an infant.
W. C. Fields
Abstaining is favorable both to the head and the pocket.
W. C. Fields
