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I can do anything I want to do!
W. C. Fields
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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Anything
More quotes by W. C. Fields
Last week, I went to Philadelphia, but it was closed.
W. C. Fields
I feel like a midget with muddy feet had been walking over my tongue all night.
W. C. Fields
Somebody's been putting pineapple juice in my pineapple juice!
W. C. Fields
Never give a sucker an even break.
W. C. Fields
When doctors and undertakers meet, they wink at each other.
W. C. Fields
My heart is a bargain today. Will you take it?
W. C. Fields
It is well to remember that there are five reasons for drinking: the arrival of a friend, one's present or future thirst, the excellence of the cognac, or any other reason
W. C. Fields
Take me down to the bar! We'll drink breakfast together!
W. C. Fields
Never eat at a place called 'Moms', but if the only other place in town has a sign that says 'Eats', go back to Moms.
W. C. Fields
I was almost put out of business by a well-meaning corpse.
W. C. Fields
I've been barbecued, stewed, screwed, tattooed, and fried by people claiming to be my friends. The human race has gone backward, not forward, since the days we were apes swinging through the trees.
W. C. Fields
A comic should suffer as much over a single line as a man with a hernia would in picking up a heavy barbell.
W. C. Fields
No one likes the fellow who is all rogue, but we'll forgive him almost anything if there is warmth of human sympathy underneath his rogueries. The immortal types of comedy are just such men.
W. C. Fields
A thing worth having is a thing worth cheating for.
W. C. Fields
The first thing any comedian does on getting an unscheduled laugh is to verify the state of his .
W. C. Fields
So long as the presence of death lurks with anyone who goes through the simple act of swallowing, I will make mine whiskey.
W. C. Fields
I never met a kid I liked.
W. C. Fields
I would rather be living in Philadelphia.
W. C. Fields
Where there is a will, there's prosperity around the corner.
W. C. Fields
Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water.
W. C. Fields
