Quote

Business is an establishment that gives you the legal, even though unethical, right to screw the naive-right, left, and in the middle.

W. C. Fields

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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Though
Unethical
Business
Screw
Left
Screws
Right
Naive
Giving
Legal
Even
Establishment
Gives
Middle

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Smile first thing in the morning. Get it over with.
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When we have lost everything, including hope, life becomes a disgrace, and death a duty.
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I always made up my own acts built them out of my knowledge and observation of real life. I'd had wonderful opportunities to study people and every time I went out on the stage I tried to show the audience some bit of true human nature.
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Variant: I was driven to drink by a woman. I am forever grateful, yet I never had the good manners to thank her.
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Indeed, moderation is my middle name (though I do not often use it in signing legal documents)
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Never cry over spilt milk, because it may have been poisoned.
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Marriage is better than leprosy only because it's easier to get rid of.
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I never met a kid I liked.
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Prayers never bring anything... They may bring solace to the sap, the bigot, the ignorant, the aboriginal, and the lazy - but to the enlightened it is the same as asking Santa Claus to bring you something for Xmas
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A man without a woman is like a neck without a pain.
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If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.
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Trust everybody, but cut the cards yourself.
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There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull by the tail and face the situation.
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Comedy is a serious business. A serious business with only one purpose--to make people laugh.
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It is funnier to bend things than to break them.
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I never drank anything stronger than beer before I was twelve.
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I never smoked a cigar in my life until I was nine
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The Punkwat twins! Brentwood is the world's smallest giant, whilst his brother, Elwood, is the largest midget in the world. They baffle science!
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I would rather be living in Philadelphia.
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California is the only state in the union where you can fall asleep under a rose bush in full bloom and freeze to death.
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