Quote

Business is an establishment that gives you the legal, even though unethical, right to screw the naive-right, left, and in the middle.

W. C. Fields

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Left
Screws
Right
Naive
Giving
Legal
Even
Establishment
Gives
Middle
Though
Unethical
Business
Screw

More quotes by W. C. Fields

Image
Here is my best advice on the matter of deductibles: just count off on your fingers all the items that you suspect might be deductible - and then forget them, because they aren't.
W. C. Fields
Image
I was almost put out of business by a well-meaning corpse.
W. C. Fields
Image
I could be stranded in any town in the United States with ten cents and within an hour make $20 with the shell game.
W. C. Fields
Image
The movie people would have nothing to do with me until they heard me speak in a Broadway play, then they all wanted to sign me for the silent movies.
W. C. Fields
Image
When life hands you lemons, make whisky sours.
W. C. Fields
Image
I like thieves. Some of my best friends are thieves. Why, just last week we had the president of the bank over for dinner.
W. C. Fields
Image
My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies.
W. C. Fields
Image
I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.
W. C. Fields
Image
I seldom took a drink on the set before 9 a.m.
W. C. Fields
Image
The funniest thing about comedy is that you never know why people laugh. I know what makes them laugh but trying to get your hands on the why of it is like trying to pick an eel out of a tub of water.
W. C. Fields
Image
There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull by the tail and face the situation.
W. C. Fields
Image
The nation needs to return to the colonial way of life, when a wife was judged by the amount of wood she could split.
W. C. Fields
Image
Everybody's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer.
W. C. Fields
Image
The two-headed boy in the circus never had such a headache.
W. C. Fields
Image
Set up another case bartender! The best thing for a case of nerves is a case of Scotch.
W. C. Fields
Image
If pigs had wings, they would be pigeons.
W. C. Fields
Image
It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to.
W. C. Fields
Image
What a gorgeous day. What effulgent sunshine. It was a day of this sort the McGillicuddy brothers murdered their mother with an axe.
W. C. Fields
Image
There are seven natural openings in the head and body. A lawyer is the only human being with eight. The extra one is a slot to store money in, should his bank be unable to hold all of it.
W. C. Fields
Image
I have a poor memory for names but I seldom remember a face.
W. C. Fields