Quote

Business is an establishment that gives you the legal, even though unethical, right to screw the naive-right, left, and in the middle.

W. C. Fields

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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Gives
Middle
Though
Unethical
Business
Screw
Left
Screws
Right
Naive
Giving
Legal
Even
Establishment

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In every big city there is always one surefire laugh, and that lies in hanging some piece of idiocy upon the people of a nearby city or town.
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I must have a drink of breakfast.
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Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite, and furthermore always carry a small snake.
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The world is getting to be such a dangerous place, a man is lucky to get out of it alive.
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W. C. Fields, a lifetime agnostic, was discovered reading a Bible on his deathbed. ''I'm looking for a loop-hole,'' he explained.
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Marriage is better than leprosy only because it's easier to get rid of.
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Where there is a will, there's prosperity around the corner.
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If I had my life to live over again, I'd live over a saloon.
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Remember, a dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live one to swim upstream.
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I don't drink anymore, on the other hand I don't drink any less either.
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All things considered, I'd rather be in Philadelphia
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I've been drunk only once in my life. But that lasted for twenty-three years.
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Prayers never bring anything... They may bring solace to the sap, the bigot, the ignorant, the aboriginal, and the lazy - but to the enlightened it is the same as asking Santa Claus to bring you something for Xmas
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My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies.
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Take me down to the bar! We'll drink breakfast together!
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When we have lost everything, including hope, life becomes a disgrace, and death a duty.
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There are better things than sex, but nothing quite like it.
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There are only two real ways to get ahead today - sell liquor or drink it.
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The movie people would have nothing to do with me until they heard me speak in a Broadway play, then they all wanted to sign me for the silent movies.
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Thou shalt not kill anything less than a fifth.
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