Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
Business is an establishment that gives you the legal, even though unethical, right to screw the naive-right, left, and in the middle.
W. C. Fields
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Left
Screws
Right
Naive
Giving
Legal
Even
Establishment
Gives
Middle
Though
Unethical
Business
Screw
More quotes by W. C. Fields
Buried my wife the other day. Had to, she died.
W. C. Fields
Say anything that you like about me except that I drink water.
W. C. Fields
I ad lib most of my dialogue. If I did remember my lines, it would be too bad for me.
W. C. Fields
There are better things than sex, but nothing quite like it.
W. C. Fields
There is not a man in America who has not had a secret ambition to boot an infant.
W. C. Fields
A man who overindulges lives in a dream. He becomes conceited. He thinks the whole world revolves around him and it usually does.
W. C. Fields
I once spent a year in Philadelphia, I think it was on a Sunday.
W. C. Fields
No doubt exists that all women are crazy it's only a question of degree.
W. C. Fields
Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's house unless they have a well-stocked bar.
W. C. Fields
I never met a kid I liked.
W. C. Fields
Happiness means quiet nerves.
W. C. Fields
Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget for a butler.
W. C. Fields
Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol.
W. C. Fields
You can't cheat an honest man.
W. C. Fields
If it is a joint return, we are instructed to print the given names of both husband and wife. But since some of the names that husband and wife give each other are hardly suited to print, we must proceed cautiously.
W. C. Fields
I've been barbecued, stewed, screwed, tattooed, and fried by people claiming to be my friends. The human race has gone backward, not forward, since the days we were apes swinging through the trees.
W. C. Fields
I've never hit a woman in my life. Not even my own mother.
W. C. Fields
Sleep! The most beautiful experience in life. Except drink.
W. C. Fields
It is impossible to find twelve fair men in all the world.
W. C. Fields
A comic should suffer as much over a single line as a man with a hernia would in picking up a heavy barbell.
W. C. Fields