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Business is an establishment that gives you the legal, even though unethical, right to screw the naive-right, left, and in the middle.
W. C. Fields
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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Left
Screws
Right
Naive
Giving
Legal
Even
Establishment
Gives
Middle
Though
Unethical
Business
Screw
More quotes by W. C. Fields
When we have lost everything, including hope, life becomes a disgrace, and death a duty.
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I like children. If they're properly cooked.
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I've never hit a woman in my life. Not even my own mother.
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You can't cheat an honest man.
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Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.
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I seldom took a drink on the set before 9 a.m.
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Thou shalt not kill anything less than a fifth.
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It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to.
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When you wake up in the morning, smile - and get it over with.
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Abstaining is favorable both to the head and the pocket.
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Here is my best advice on the matter of deductibles: just count off on your fingers all the items that you suspect might be deductible - and then forget them, because they aren't.
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It was a marriage of convenience, as my father had a blister on his big toe and couldn't travel far to find a girl.
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How well I remember my first encounter with The Devil'ss Brew. I happened to stumble across a case of bourbon - and went right on stumbling for several days thereafter.
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Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's house unless they have a well-stocked bar.
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I never drank anything stronger than beer before I was twelve.
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The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with baited breath.
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I note the derogatory rumors concerning the use of alcoholic stimulants and lavish living. It is the penalty of greatness.
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I don't drink anymore, on the other hand I don't drink any less either.
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Dentists, lawyers, doctors are all a bunch of thieving bastards.
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I don't drink water. Have you seen the way it rusts pipes?
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