Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
I don't drink water. Have you seen the way it rusts pipes?
W. C. Fields
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Drink
Food
Seen
Water
Way
Rusts
Pipes
Rust
Pipe
More quotes by W. C. Fields
Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.
W. C. Fields
Here is my best advice on the matter of deductibles: just count off on your fingers all the items that you suspect might be deductible - and then forget them, because they aren't.
W. C. Fields
Last week, I went to Philadelphia, but it was closed.
W. C. Fields
The laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn over by themselves.
W. C. Fields
I must have a drink of breakfast.
W. C. Fields
Trust everybody, but cut the cards yourself.
W. C. Fields
It's morally wrong to allow a sucker to keep his money.
W. C. Fields
I write my scripts short and they develop on the set, which I have found a far better premise both economically and practically.
W. C. Fields
Attitude is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than what people do or say. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill.
W. C. Fields
The work I'm doing on the screen differs from that of anyone else. My comedy is of a peculiar nature...no writers have been developed along the lines of my type of comedy and this is why I sometimes have differences with writers, supervisors and directors alike.
W. C. Fields
There is not a man in America who has not had a secret ambition to boot an infant.
W. C. Fields
A man who's intoxicated all the time doesn't need sympathy.
W. C. Fields
Drown in a cold vat of whiskey? Death, where is thy sting?
W. C. Fields
It's what you do that counts and not what you say therefore I fired my press agent.
W. C. Fields
Thou shalt not steal-only from other comedians.
W. C. Fields
It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to.
W. C. Fields
Abstaining is favorable both to the head and the pocket.
W. C. Fields
My main ambition as a gardener is to water my orange trees with gin, then all I have to do is squeeze the juice into a glass.
W. C. Fields
There's no such thing as a tough child - if you parboil them first for seven hours, they always come out tender.
W. C. Fields
After two days in the hospital, I turn to the nurse.
W. C. Fields
