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Where there is a will, there's prosperity around the corner.
W. C. Fields
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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Around
Corner
Corners
Prosperity
Money
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It is funnier to bend things than to break them.
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I always made up my own acts built them out of my knowledge and observation of real life. I'd had wonderful opportunities to study people and every time I went out on the stage I tried to show the audience some bit of true human nature.
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Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol.
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Anyone who hates children and animals can't be all bad.
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Scotch needs water like a fish needs a bicycle.
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To me, these biblical stories are just so many fish stories, and I'm not specifically referring to Jonah and the whale. I need indisputable proof of anything I'm asked to believe.
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I feel like a midget with muddy feet had been walking over my tongue all night.
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First prize was a week in Philadelphia. Second prize was two weeks.
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Dentists, lawyers, doctors are all a bunch of thieving bastards.
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Money will not buy happiness, but it will let you be unhappy in nice places.
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You can fool some of the people some of the time -- and that's enough to make a decent living.
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Ye Gads, no! I couldn't stand the noise.
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I have been in the entertainment business some forty-three years, and I have never said anything detrimental or anything that might be construed as belittling any race or religion. I would be a sucker to do so because you can't insult the customers.
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I could juggle anything in my day. Balls, cigar boxes, knives...But there was one thing I could never juggle. My income tax.
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There are seven natural openings in the head and body. A lawyer is the only human being with eight. The extra one is a slot to store money in, should his bank be unable to hold all of it.
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The world is getting to be such a dangerous place, a man is lucky to get out of it alive.
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Happiness means quiet nerves.
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I used to be indecisive, now I'm not so sure.
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A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her.
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It is impossible to find twelve fair men in all the world.
W. C. Fields
