Quote

Here is my best advice on the matter of deductibles: just count off on your fingers all the items that you suspect might be deductible - and then forget them, because they aren't.

W. C. Fields

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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Fingers
Aren
Advice
Forget
Deductible
Money
Items
Best
Suspect
Might
Suspects
Matter
Count

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When you wake up in the morning, smile - and get it over with.
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This job will drive me to drink, and for that reason, I will be eternally grateful.
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No man is boss in his own home, but he can make up for it, he thinks, by making a dog play dead.
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I like children - fried.
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All my available funds are completely tied up in cash.
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My main ambition as a gardener is to water my orange trees with gin, then all I have to do is squeeze the juice into a glass.
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A man without a woman is like a neck without a pain.
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I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.
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What a gorgeous day. What effulgent sunshine. It was a day of this sort the McGillicuddy brothers murdered their mother with an axe.
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Try till you succeed...if you don't succeed once, then destroy all evidence of the fact that you tried!
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I don't object to nine aces in one deck. But when a man lays down five aces in one hand... and besides, I know what I dealt him!
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I could juggle anything in my day. Balls, cigar boxes, knives...But there was one thing I could never juggle. My income tax.
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