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Here is my best advice on the matter of deductibles: just count off on your fingers all the items that you suspect might be deductible - and then forget them, because they aren't.
W. C. Fields
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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Aren
Advice
Forget
Deductible
Money
Items
Best
Suspect
Might
Suspects
Matter
Count
Fingers
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It's what you do that counts and not what you say therefore I fired my press agent.
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Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.
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I was in love with a beautiful blonde once. She drove me to drink. That's the one thing I'm indebted to her for.
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All my available funds are completely tied up in cash.
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Comedy is a serious business. A serious business with only one purpose--to make people laugh.
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Ye Gads, no! I couldn't stand the noise.
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Never cry over spilt milk, because it may have been poisoned.
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I never worry about being driven to drink I just worry about being driven home.
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No doubt exists that all women are crazy it's only a question of degree.
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Attitude is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than what people do or say. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill.
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I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.
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I've been on a 46-year diet of olives and alcohol. The latter I consume. The former I save and use over again in more alcohol. In my lifetime, I imagine, I have consumed at least $200,000 worth of whisky.
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A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
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The best thing to break is a contract.
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