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I never smoked a cigar in my life until I was nine
W. C. Fields
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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Nine
Never
Life
Smoked
Cigar
More quotes by W. C. Fields
I've been on a 46-year diet of olives and alcohol. The latter I consume. The former I save and use over again in more alcohol. In my lifetime, I imagine, I have consumed at least $200,000 worth of whisky.
W. C. Fields
I exercise strong self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.
W. C. Fields
No one likes the fellow who is all rogue, but we'll forgive him almost anything if there is warmth of human sympathy underneath his rogueries. The immortal types of comedy are just such men.
W. C. Fields
It is well to remember that there are five reasons for drinking: the arrival of a friend, one's present or future thirst, the excellence of the cognac, or any other reason
W. C. Fields
I must have a drink of breakfast.
W. C. Fields
Hollywood is the gold cap on a tooth that should have been pulled out years ago.
W. C. Fields
I once spent a year in Philadelphia, I think it was on a Sunday.
W. C. Fields
The income tax was devised to give lawyers and certified public accountants business. Few persons can make head, tail, or middle out of it. Einstein admitted he couldn't.
W. C. Fields
I note the derogatory rumors concerning the use of alcoholic stimulants and lavish living. It is the penalty of greatness.
W. C. Fields
I drink with impunity...or anyone else who invites me.
W. C. Fields
Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.
W. C. Fields
A thing worth having is a thing worth cheating for.
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If I ever found a church that didn't believe in knocking all the other churches, I might consider joining it.
W. C. Fields
When asked to borrow money: I'll see what my lawyer says. . . . And if he says yes, I'll get another lawyer.
W. C. Fields
Never mind what I told you - you do as I tell you.
W. C. Fields
All my available funds are completely tied up in cash.
W. C. Fields
I never drink water... fish f**k in it.
W. C. Fields
Sex isn't necessary. You don't die without it, but you can die having it.
W. C. Fields
I don't drink anymore, on the other hand I don't drink any less either.
W. C. Fields
Wouldn't it be terrible if I quoted some reliable statistics which prove that more people are driven insane through religious hysteria than by drinking alcohol.
W. C. Fields
