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When asked to borrow money: I'll see what my lawyer says. . . . And if he says yes, I'll get another lawyer.
W. C. Fields
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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Borrow
Lawyer
Asked
Says
Money
Another
More quotes by W. C. Fields
A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her.
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Anyone who hates children and animals can't be all bad.
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If I had to live my life over, I'd live over a saloon.
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Now don't say you can't swear off drinking it's easy. I've done it a thousand times.
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Happiness means quiet nerves.
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The only thing a lawyer won't question is the legitimacy of his mother.
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A man who overindulges lives in a dream. He becomes conceited. He thinks the whole world revolves around him and it usually does.
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Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.
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I like my films to influence the audience. Even if it means tripping their aged grandparents with a cane when they get home.
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Ye Gads, no! I couldn't stand the noise.
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Smile first thing in the morning. Get it over with.
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After two days in the hospital, I turn to the nurse.
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Some weasel took the cork out of my lunch.
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Thou shalt not kill anything less than a fifth.
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You can fool some of the people some of the time -- and that's enough to make a decent living.
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I never met a kid I liked.
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Dentists, lawyers, doctors are all a bunch of thieving bastards.
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W. C. Fields, a lifetime agnostic, was discovered reading a Bible on his deathbed. ''I'm looking for a loop-hole,'' he explained.
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I seldom took a drink on the set before 9 a.m.
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I have a poor memory for names but I seldom remember a face.
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