Quote

When asked to borrow money: I'll see what my lawyer says. . . . And if he says yes, I'll get another lawyer.

W. C. Fields

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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Borrow
Lawyer
Asked
Says
Money
Another

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I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.
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Fields' reply: He'd think I was a sissy.
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Some things are better than sex, and some are worse, but there's nothing exactly like it.
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When you wake up in the morning, smile - and get it over with.
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Try till you succeed...if you don't succeed once, then destroy all evidence of the fact that you tried!
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The work I'm doing on the screen differs from that of anyone else. My comedy is of a peculiar nature...no writers have been developed along the lines of my type of comedy and this is why I sometimes have differences with writers, supervisors and directors alike.
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If I had to live my life over, I'd live over a saloon.
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Anyone who hates children and animals can't be all bad.
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If pigs had wings, they would be pigeons.
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Just like my Uncle Charlie used to say, just before he sprung the trap: He said, You can't cheat and honest man! Never give a sucker an even break or smarten up a chump!
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I'm looking for loopholes. (Said when caught reading the Bible.).
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It's what you do that counts and not what you say therefore I fired my press agent.
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I personally stay away from natural foods. At my age I need all the preservatives I can get.
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I exercise strong self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.
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My main ambition as a gardener is to water my orange trees with gin, then all I have to do is squeeze the juice into a glass.
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The two-headed boy in the circus never had such a headache.
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No doubt exists that all women are crazy it's only a question of degree.
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Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.
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I never met a kid I liked.
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The Punkwat twins! Brentwood is the world's smallest giant, whilst his brother, Elwood, is the largest midget in the world. They baffle science!
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