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I used to be indecisive, now I'm not so sure.

W. C. Fields

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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Indecision
Sure
Used
Indecisive

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Oh, insomnia! Ah, well, I know a good cure for it... Get plenty of sleep.
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I'd take a Bromo, but I can't stand the noise.
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I could be stranded in any town in the United States with ten cents and within an hour make $20 with the shell game.
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Yes I do like children ... Girl children...about eighteen or twenty.
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California is the only state in the union where you can fall asleep under a rose bush in full bloom and freeze to death.
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How well I remember my first encounter with The Devil'ss Brew. I happened to stumble across a case of bourbon - and went right on stumbling for several days thereafter.
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I never drink water... fish f**k in it.
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Here is my best advice on the matter of deductibles: just count off on your fingers all the items that you suspect might be deductible - and then forget them, because they aren't.
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Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget for a butler.
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Women are like elephants to me. I like to look at them, but I wouldn't want to own one.
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No one likes the fellow who is all rogue, but we'll forgive him almost anything if there is warmth of human sympathy underneath his rogueries. The immortal types of comedy are just such men.
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I drink with impunity...or anyone else who invites me.
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Some things are better than sex, and some are worse, but there's nothing exactly like it.
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Remember, Lady Godiva put all she had on a horse and she lost her shirt!
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It's what you do that counts and not what you say therefore I fired my press agent.
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Everybody's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer.
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Money will not buy happiness, but it will let you be unhappy in nice places.
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I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy.
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I'd rather have two girls at 21 each than one girl at 42.
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I must have a drink of breakfast.
W. C. Fields