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Alcoholic: anybody who drinks more than I do.
W. C. Fields
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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Drinks
Alcoholics
Clever
Smart
Anybody
Drink
Funny
Alcoholic
More quotes by W. C. Fields
Ultimately chess is just chess - not the best thing in the world and not the worst thing in the world, but there is nothing quite like it.
W. C. Fields
The laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn over by themselves.
W. C. Fields
A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her.
W. C. Fields
I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy.
W. C. Fields
There is not a man in America who has not had a secret ambition to boot an infant.
W. C. Fields
I can do anything I want to do!
W. C. Fields
I never drink water. I'm afraid it will become habit-forming.
W. C. Fields
It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to.
W. C. Fields
Somebody's been putting pineapple juice in my pineapple juice!
W. C. Fields
Never cry over spilt milk, because it may have been poisoned.
W. C. Fields
I feel like a midget with muddy feet had been walking over my tongue all night.
W. C. Fields
The funniest thing a comedian can do is not do it.
W. C. Fields
Take me down to the bar! We'll drink breakfast together!
W. C. Fields
If it is a joint return, we are instructed to print the given names of both husband and wife. But since some of the names that husband and wife give each other are hardly suited to print, we must proceed cautiously.
W. C. Fields
Prayers never bring anything... They may bring solace to the sap, the bigot, the ignorant, the aboriginal, and the lazy - but to the enlightened it is the same as asking Santa Claus to bring you something for Xmas
W. C. Fields
I note the derogatory rumors concerning the use of alcoholic stimulants and lavish living. It is the penalty of greatness.
W. C. Fields
So long as the presence of death lurks with anyone who goes through the simple act of swallowing, I will make mine whiskey.
W. C. Fields
Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she'll expect you to keep up the standard for the rest of your life.
W. C. Fields
This job will drive me to drink, and for that reason, I will be eternally grateful.
W. C. Fields
To me, these biblical stories are just so many fish stories, and I'm not specifically referring to Jonah and the whale. I need indisputable proof of anything I'm asked to believe.
W. C. Fields
