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Bert Williams was the funniest man I ever saw and the saddest man I ever knew.
W. C. Fields
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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Saws
Knew
Ever
Men
Bert
Funniest
Williams
Saddest
More quotes by W. C. Fields
There are only two real ways to get ahead today - sell liquor or drink it.
W. C. Fields
When we have lost everything, including hope, life becomes a disgrace, and death a duty.
W. C. Fields
It's a wonderful thing, the D.T.'s. You can travel the world in a couple of hours. You see some mighty funny and curious things that come in assorted colors.
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Money will not buy happiness, but it will let you be unhappy in nice places.
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I must have a drink of breakfast.
W. C. Fields
Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.
W. C. Fields
Sex isn't necessary. You don't die without it, but you can die having it.
W. C. Fields
I always made up my own acts built them out of my knowledge and observation of real life. I'd had wonderful opportunities to study people and every time I went out on the stage I tried to show the audience some bit of true human nature.
W. C. Fields
Indeed, moderation is my middle name (though I do not often use it in signing legal documents)
W. C. Fields
The income tax was devised to give lawyers and certified public accountants business. Few persons can make head, tail, or middle out of it. Einstein admitted he couldn't.
W. C. Fields
Smile first thing in the morning. Get it over with.
W. C. Fields
Variant: I was driven to drink by a woman. I am forever grateful, yet I never had the good manners to thank her.
W. C. Fields
Don't worry about your heart, it will last you as long as you live.
W. C. Fields
Some weasel took the cork out of my lunch.
W. C. Fields
Scotch needs water like a fish needs a bicycle.
W. C. Fields
The first thing any comedian does on getting an unscheduled laugh is to verify the state of his .
W. C. Fields
Ye Gads, no! I couldn't stand the noise.
W. C. Fields
I can do anything I want to do!
W. C. Fields
The world is getting to be such a dangerous place, a man is lucky to get out of it alive.
W. C. Fields
The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with baited breath.
W. C. Fields
